The Classifieds
by emergencyfan
Summary: What Atlantis job ads might look like IF they could be posted... SGA & all characters belong to MGM.
1. Rodney's Ad

**JOB DESCRIPTION – Senior Research Scientist**

The ideal candidate for this position should have a strong background in mathematics, theoretical physics, and computer programming, as well as be able to solve complex technical problems and possess a complete understanding of wormhole physics and ZPM technology. Model electron beam production and propagation using standard modeling codes and the operation of drive laser systems is required. The ability to outrun knife-wielding Genii spies; Wraith stunner blasts; and insane, drug addicted team members is also necessary. Original research in magnetospheric, heliospheric, ITM, solar or planetary sciences; development of space instrumentation and new space flight mission concepts and/or interpret data from space instruments is mandatory. Expertise in building nuclear bombs; alien technologies, especially shield devices; as well foreign weapons systems is also a necessity. Candidate must be able to discern what is critical in the work assigned, establish test methods and procedures, conduct tests, evaluate data, validate findings by comparing with theoretical predictions, and present results, conclusions and recommendations in technical report form. Bomb diffusement under severe time constraints, the ability to detect ancients, as well as a willingness to be possessed by other consciousnesses and/or be kidnapped on a bi-monthly basis is also required. The ability to manage the construction, commissioning and operational testing of various alien technology is a plus (not including the destruction of solar systems). The candidate will need to be creative in identifying and advancing new technologies as well as actively participating in ongoing interdisciplinary research projects. Responsibilities will include initiating and developing creative solutions and new products. Will take charge of the development of testing procedures and manage research staff. Proficiency with various hand weapons, knowledge of military hand signals, and hand-to-hand combat experience is an asset.

**Requirements:**

PHD in Physics, Material Science, Computer Science and/or Chemistry along with several years experience in electromagnetics. Past work requires proven success and achievement in Radiation Physics through meeting high standards of performance in related work. A minimum of three years of research staff management experience is required. Some weather forecasting experience is helpful.

Candidate must be willing to sign off on a blank commitment to a one-year term of service. Employment subject to successfully completion of a federal background check and medical clearance. Candidate must also possess a rare gene or be willing to undergo unlicensed experimental gene therapy. Must work well under pressure.

**Benefits:**

- 401K and profit sharing available  
- Competitive salary including full room and board  
- Uniforms  
- Hand weapons provided at no charge on an as-needed basis  
- Full on-site medical (including gene therapy and dental)  
- Disability insurance covering bodily injury and premature aging  
- Full death benefits

* * *

_U.S. sponsorship is available for this position.  
Equal opportunity employer._


	2. Weir's Ad

**CAREERS WITH THE U.S. MISSION IN ATLANTIS**

The U.S. Diplomatic Mission to Atlantis is an equal opportunity employer seeking the highest caliber staff. Our salaries are competitive, and we offer an attractive benefits package. Interested applicants should review each position vacancy thoroughly to ensure that their application includes all necessary information.

**JOB DESCRIPTION – Expedition Leader/Intergalactic Diplomat**

**_Skills and Knowledge:_**

- Strong negotiating skills with alien races, particularly terrorist-based societies such as the Genii, and life-sucking races such as the Wraith; successful background in innovative initiatives in finance and budgeting (including the ability to fight the military for a fair share of funding), growth management, city use and planning, information technology, and strategic planning. Budgetary and scheduling control as well as the management of both military and science members on a day to day basis is required.

- Understanding of intergalactic relations and the ability to negotiate with both advanced and primitive cultures.

- Willingness to cave on personal values and ideals if the situation calls for it, as well as a willingness to be talked into extremely risky plans that have no chance of hell of succeeding by subordinates.

- Ability to hug/kiss a subordinate at a minimum 'squeee' factor of eighty-eight when possessed by an alien entity, while yet at no time confirming an actual intimate relationship with said subordinate.

- Sitting and worrying for long hours are required for this position, as is a sixth sense for trouble.

- Must have good written and verbal communication skills.

**_Management Style:_**

- Consensus builder but able to make difficult decisions; solid human resource manager willing to hold subordinates accountable and yet be a good delegator; willing to take responsible risks; be accessible to employees, the military, and civilians, and be a good listener.

- Be able to communicate with multidisciplinary team effectively. Be able to build and promote teamwork and select, develop, and motivate staff; be willing to make tough personnel decisions when necessary. Be able to establish staff expectations and effectively communicate those expectations and relate them to job performance. Be resistant boyish charm and the desire to strangle ego-centric scientists with bare hands.

- Be confident in his/her ability but not arrogant; provide visionary leadership but be realistic and able to see the big picture; be open to diverse opinions, be diplomatic, energetic, and approachable (possession by alien entities and a willingness to be kidnapped may also occasionally be required).

* * *

You may request a brochure that includes additional information about the position from the Cheyenne Mountain Complex in Colorado Springs, CO. 

Vacation Leave, Personal Leave, Sick Leave, Family Sick Leave, Holiday Leave, Tuition Reimbursement Program, Medical, Dental, Vision, Life Insurance, Short Term Disability Insurance and Long Term Disability Insurance Benefits. Applicants must pass a pre-employment background investigation, polygraph examination and psychological screening.


End file.
